Planning a memorial service is one of those things most of us never expect to do — until suddenly, we are.
One day, someone we love is gone. And the next, we’re staring at a blank page, wondering how to create a gathering that could possibly capture who they were.
If that’s where you are right now, I want to start by saying this: You’re not alone. And you don’t have to get it perfect — just heartfelt.
There’s No Right Way to Do This — Only Your Way
One of the most overwhelming parts of planning a funeral or celebration of life is figuring out what should happen… and in what order.
- Maybe you’ve been handed a template from a funeral home.
- Maybe a friend sent you a program from someone else’s service.
- Or maybe you’re just googling and hoping something resonates.
Here’s what I want you to know:
There is no one “right” order of service. Only what feels meaningful for you and your family.
You can follow tradition. You can build your own. You can mix and match from both.
💌 Free Printable Worksheet: Start outlining your service with our gentle, fill-in-the-blank guide — it’s simple, flexible, and calming to use.
Get the Free Order of Service Pack →
The 3 Most Common Service Styles (and How They Feel)
Every gathering has its own tone — some sacred and quiet, others full of laughter and sunlight. Each of these structures can help spark ideas:
Traditional Church or Religious Service
This format is usually led by clergy and takes place in a place of worship or funeral home. It often includes:
- Opening prayer or scripture
- Music or hymns
- 1–2 eulogies
- A message or homily
- Closing blessing
Why it works: It provides structure and comfort, especially for those rooted in faith.
What you can add: A poem they loved, a favorite song, a request for everyone to wear their favorite color.
Celebration of Life
More casual and story-driven, a Celebration of Life service often takes place in a park, backyard, or event venue. It may include:
- A welcome by a celebrant or family member
- Music from a playlist they loved
- Short stories or memories from 2–3 speakers
- A toast, candle lighting, or group activity
- Closing reflections or shared silence
Why it works: It feels like a gathering of love, not a ceremony.
What you can add: Display keepsakes, invite laughter, serve their favorite dessert.
Graveside or Committal Service
Simple and intimate, this is often held at the burial site or cremation interment.
- A few words of welcome
- A brief reading or prayer
- A personal story
- A closing ritual (placing flowers, stones, or notes)
Why it works: It’s short, sacred, and direct — perfect for small groups or when simplicity is needed.
What you can add: Play soft music, invite a moment of silence, share a goodbye letter aloud.
You Can Combine the Best of Each
Let’s say you want the beauty of a traditional prayer, the joy of a celebration, and the simplicity of a graveside reflection. You can have all three.
You might start with a formal service, host a memory-sharing lunch afterward, and close the day with a few family members gathered at the cemetery.
The flow of your gathering should reflect the rhythm of your love.
A Real-Life Example: “We Started with a Hymn, and Ended with Laughter”
When my friend Megan lost her grandfather, she felt torn between what the family “should” do and what her grandfather would have wanted.
“He was a man of deep faith,” she told me, “but also full of jokes and terrible puns.” So they started with a beautiful hymn. Her uncle read scripture. And then, one by one, the grandkids shared stories — including a now-legendary one about his duct-tape wallet and an unexpected alpaca farm.
“We cried. We laughed. And when we all sang What a Wonderful World at the end, it felt like the perfect send-off.”
Why a Funeral Director Appreciates Your Input
If you’re working with a funeral home or officiant, bringing your ideas ahead of time is a gift. It helps them support you better — and ensures the service is aligned with your wishes.
You don’t need to bring a completed plan. Just a sketch. Just a sense of what feels important.
And that’s exactly what this free resource was made for…
🎁 Free Download: Order of Service Worksheets
We’ve created a gentle, customizable template that you can print and fill out. It’s part of our Celebration of Life Planner, and it’s yours — free.
Inside the Order of Service Worksheet Pack, You’ll Find:
- Three sample service outlines for different formats:
• Traditional religious service
• Celebration of life gathering
• Graveside or committal ceremony - Printable planning worksheets to organize tone, flow, and special touches
- Guided prompts to help you choose music, speakers, and activities with confidence
- Suggested roles to delegate, so you don’t have to plan everything alone
- Ideas for personalizing the ceremony, whether it’s formal, casual, or faith-based
- Gentle structure and flexibility — adapt it to your needs, timeline, and traditions
👉 Download Your Free Order of Service Worksheets
(Instant download. No pressure, no spam — just calm, practical help from The Funeral Helper.)
In Closing
Whether you’re planning a formal funeral or a cozy backyard gathering, remember this:
You are doing something sacred.
You are creating space for love, memory, and healing.
And that, in itself, is a beautiful tribute.
Let the structure support you. Let the stories guide you.
And let love be the reason behind every choice.